We We Say VS What We Mean
After a gut-retching breakup, we are left feeling lost and confused. Feeling a million emotions a minute is the name of the game, that we never even wanted to play. Through our dazed reality, we might say some comments that aren’t entirely true. Who can blame us?! Through the tears, wine, chocolates and countless hours of binge watching, we can’t be responsible for the things we say. However, with that being said, there’s something so freeing about speaking the truth. You might feel a little better letting your true feelings out to your BFF or writing it down in a journal. Either way, you’ll feel a little less weight on your broken-hearted shoulders.
Here are the most common things people tend to say while feeling broken hearted versus the reality.
1. What you say: “I’m fine.”
You are most likely not fine, and that is more than okay. Nobody expects you to “be fine” after a loss of love. You are experiencing a death — a death of a relationship. Grieving and mourning this loss is not only normal, but a very healthy piece of the puzzle. You’re going to need to the support from your friends and family during this tumultuous time, so let them know you’re “not fine” and need them.
2. What you say: “I don’t care if he/she dates someone else.”
The LAST thing you want to think about after a breakup is your ex with somebody new. No way. It’s nice to say this, but are you really ready to handle that? We probably would much rather believe that our ex is stuck on an island somewhere far, far away, where he or she can’t even look at another person in that way.
3. What you say: I’m never going to find someone ever again.”
You WILL find someone again. You’ll fall in love again and at that moment you’ll realize that all that heartbreak was worth it.
4. What you say: “I just want him or her to be happy.”
If you can get to this point, then girl, you’re a true rockstar! However, most of us feel anger and disappointment after a breakup and aren’t connecting with our inner Buddha. The reality is that it’s too painful to think of our once-lover moving on and being happy without us. Don’t beat yourself up over feeling this anger. Trust me, one day you will have fully moved on and can wish happiness upon your ex. But for right now, you don’t need to force it.
5. What you say: “We can totally be just friends.”
Being “just friends” with an ex immediately after a breakup is like waking up with perfect bangs — it just can’t be done. Until it was 100% mutual, you two probably need to wait a little for feelings to settle. I know it’s hard to think of losing a best friend too, but being “just friends” complicates things and is only a set up for disaster.
6. What you say: “I never think about him/her anymore”
Okay, let’s all be honest here. Sure, we wish we weren’t thinking about our ex 24/7, but the reality is that we can’t get him or her out of our minds. After a breakup, we can’t stop ourselves from stalking his or her social media accounts. We’ve become better than Sherlock Holmes. I’m not saying this is the healthiest of behaviors, but let’s not kid ourselves… everybody does it.
7. What you say: “I’m better off without him or her.”
This is 100% the truth ladies. You deserve better and deserve to be in a happy and healthy relationship. The reason it is called a breakup is because something was broken. Your life is much better without this broken relationship.