Closure. What is it exactly? After the demise of a relationship, people usually ask, “Do you feel like you got closure?”. I always wondered what people meant by this. We live in a society that likes to box everything up nicely with a big perfectly tied bow. However, life doesn’t seem to fit in a flawlessly square box so smoothy. Things are left unsaid, and undone. And that’s okay. But it appears that this “undone-ness” leaves an uncomfortable taste in people’s mouths, and more importantly, in people’s hearts.
The dictionary defines closure as “the resolution of a significant event or relationship in a person’s life” and “a sense of contentment experienced after such a resolution.” This idea of closure is comforting, but is it always possible?
What happens when a person cheats on another, and the trust and love is destroyed? Or what about the husband that gets hit by a drunk driver and the wife never got the chance to say goodbye? Or how about the man that walks into his apartment to see his girlfriend’s belongings gone with a goodbye note, and no further communication. Some things don’t have that beautiful ending or finality we had all hoped for. But in our society, there is this constant need for this crazy thing called closure.
The meaning of closure is not universal. Some people believe that closure lies within speaking your piece. This is the girl that finally tells her ex her truth. Or the guy that ultimately writes the letter to his previous girlfriend, apologizing for all of his mistakes and wrongdoings. As the words leave our mouths, we have the sensation of them leaving our minds and our bodies.
But for others, speaking these words isn’t possible, or may not be helpful. Instead, what I believe could be closure is knowledge. Sometimes, seeing reality and a person for their true selves can be all the closure you need. Or maybe you realized the kind of person you are. And, this awareness has given you a “sense of contentment.” Could acceptance be a piece of this missing undone puzzle?
Knowledge is power, and in this case, it could be closure too.
I still wonder if true closure is even possible. Is it something made up in our minds to hopefully attain complete and pure finality of a situation in our lives? Have we watched one too many romantic comedies? Or is it human nature to avoid this incomplete feeling?
In all honesty, I don’t know the answer to this puzzle. So, I will leave these questions unanswered and unsolved — just like the way I feel about closure.