Friendships come and go. But then there are those friendships that do stand the test of time, through all kinds of ups, downs, and changes. What makes one relationship last, when other friendships fade away? There are some people who go from one friend to the next. Yet others have quality long-lasting friendships. What is the magic potion they are drinking? Well, I have news for you — there isn’t any spell that can make a friendship last. The magic and the mystery lies all within your personality and the behaviors you exhibit.
Here’s the qualities of a person who has friendships that last.
To be a good friend involves being a good listener. But, keeping a friend involves active listening. Listening doesn’t just mean you stand there and say, “Yeah,” and nod your head up and down. It means actively listening and engaging with your friend. Truly hearing a person makes a person feel special. So, listen up people, and genuinely hear others.
Everyone has that one friend you can call anytime and tell that dirty little secret to without feeling judged. Now, that’s a good friend. The beauty of a good friendship is that you can be your true self with that person. Your friend sees the good, the bad, and the ugly in you, and they love you for it all.
Like any relationship, you need to let the other person know how much you care about them. A person who can maintain long-lasting friendships does this with ease. They send texts letting a friend know that they are thinking of her, or asking for updates on her life. They send cards on important holidays. Most importantly, they communicate how much they appreciate their friends.
If there was one thing the mafia and a good friend have in common, it’s loyalty. Loyalty is hard to come by nowadays. Someone who can maintain friendships knows how to be loyal. This means he or she doesn’t talk behind your back — they’ve got your back. Even more so, they will stand up for you if someone is trash talking you.
Being able to communicate properly doesn’t just mean a good friend knows how to pick up the phone to call you — it means they can communicate their feelings. A person who has longstanding friendships knows how to address issues head-on. They are not passive aggressive, they do not sweep things under the rug. Instead, they let you know when their feelings are hurt, or they apologize when they know they were in the wrong. Communication is key and this person is the locksmith.
Honesty is the best policy. It also makes for a great friendship. You want to know that when you ask your friend for advice, he or she will be honest with you. If you’re contemplating getting that pixie haircut, you need to know your friend will tell you the truth when you show her the picture. A true friend is someone who tells you what they truly think of that guy you’re dating, even if it’s hard to hear.
Friendships are all about give and take. It can’t be all one-sided. That is why people people with long-standing friendships make an effort to be close with their friends. They call them to see how that job interview went. They ask them to get together, instead of waiting for the other person to ask. They text after a date to see how it went. It doesn’t take much to initiate, but it makes a world of difference.
Handles Good and Bad
The one thing you can learn through any rough patch in life is who your true friends are. A true friend is there for you through the good, but more importantly, there to lean on through the bad. After a breakup, they are the friends showing up at your doorstep with tissues, wine, and the full DVD box set of Sex and the City.
People who can maintain friendships are usually dependable people. They are the kind of person that will pick you up at the airport, no questions asked. They don’t dodge your phone calls, or flake last minute. You can count on them. You know when they say they are going to do something, they will do it.
One big part of having a long-lasting friendship involves the act of sharing. In order for any relationship to grow, both people need to be vulnerable. You need to open up and share things about yourself. This will increase the trust within a friendship, as well as a deeper connection between the two of you.