We’ve all been there. Saw your bf talking to a girl and you gave her the stare-down for a good ten minutes. Or maybe you Facebook stalked your girlfriend’s new “friend” after he commented on her profile pic. But when does being jealous become too much? Where do you draw the line?
If you are constantly stalking your partner’s Instagram and Facebook, this might be the first sign. If you know your boyfriend’s IG “followers” by heart, girl, we need to have a “heart to heart”. Or if you are checking every “like” your mate receives on his or her Facebook, you need to “check” yourself. But all this is child’s play. When you’ve stepped up your jealousy game to reading your love’s text messages, emails, etc., you know you’ve got a problem. If you’re going in that deep, that’s a bigger sign that there’s something not right within the relationship.
Stop – In the Name of Love
So you’re jealous. Now what? Well, you’ve already accomplished the first thing you need to do – becoming aware. Being aware of yourself, your flaws and your actions are a lot harder than people think. It takes courage to own up to our not-so-nice qualities.
After you realize your jealous ways, you need to better understand where they are coming from. There are 3 areas you need to think about…
- You – Is this jealousy stemming from your own insecurities? If so, this is where you might want to do some soul searching. You are in need of an Oprah “Aha!” moment. Therapy could be a great place for you to sort this out. If you are not ready for that, then start being honest with yourself about where this is coming from and how you can go about fixing it.
- Your Partner – Not all cases of jealousy are because of your own insecurities. It could be that your bf is the ‘Tiger Woods’ type, aka super shady. If this is the case, you truly need to rethink why you want to be with someone like that. It’s exhausting to be jealous, so why not put your energy elsewhere (hopefully into something or someone more positive).
- Your Relationship – This one is where the jealousy stems from the relationship not being secure. Maybe you two are going through a rough patch, or there are bigger issues at hand. Instead of focusing on the jealousy, you need to start facing those issues. Once you both actually communicate about these real problems in your relationship and work through them, your green-eyed monster will be going going gone.