They Came in Like a Wrecking Ball
Being in a relationship isn’t always a piece of cake. There will be moments of magic and moments where you’ll want to strangle each other. But just remember, that’s okay and it’s very normal. To be in a committed and long-lasting partnership means having to make it through the rough patches. However, sometimes we are not all the ‘best’ at making it through these hard times. We act out in different ways when our needs are not being met or we are going through a momentary period of unhappiness. Nevertheless, it’s crucial to be aware of these 5 common behaviors that can kill a relationship.
5 Don’t in Relationships
Threats – Making threats are a ‘no no’ when it comes to being in a two-some. All so often, I see people in relationships who threaten to leave during an argument. This is detrimental to a relationship because it makes the other partner feel completely insecure. Therefore, don’t say you “don’t know if you can do this anymore,” unless you are literally going to leave.
Unhealthy communication – Communication is key when it comes to being a healthy and happy couple. The hard part is that some of us were not taught the appropriate way to communicate in our homes growing up. Sweeping things under the rug, only leads you to having a crazy dirty foundation that is bound to seep up eventually. Another way people tend to communicate poorly is through passive aggressiveness. Both of these lead to unhappy partners with a lot of bitterness. It’s important to say how you feel to your partner. Honesty is the best policy.
Words can hurt – Arguing is completely normal and healthy in a relationship. Arguing that involves screaming or calling the other person mean names is another story. Be careful before you say something hurtful because you can never take it back. There’s no excuse for calling your loved one an ‘asshole’ or a ‘bitch’. When you’re using hateful words, it’s saying more about you than your partner.
Complacency – Relationships should be easy, but they also require work. Just like anything, you have to put effort into it to see a positive outcome. Partnerships can become complacent when people become lazy and don’t put in any work. This is the couple that never makes time for date nights; the couple that focuses their attention on just the kids; the girlfriend that goes over to the boyfriend’s house and all they do is watch another TV show. Good things come to those who work – relationships included.
Speaking before thinking – Be cautious when talking about your partner or relationship to other people. You know the girl that’s always complaining about her boyfriend. That’s resentment building up. It’s one thing to vent to your friends when you’re upset with your partner, but remember to also share the pleasant things as well. Not only are your friends just going to think your partner is dreadful, but you will also stir up your emotions every time you discuss a previous argument. It’s actually quite healthy to keep some parts of your relationship private.