Me, Myself and I. . . and My Relationship
In honor of the Fourth of July, I thought it would be important to discuss how to maintain independence while being in a relationship. It’s all love and games until someone loses their identity, huh? It’s quite common for two partners to mold into ‘one’ after a couple of months of dating. You either know this pair of lovers, or you are one of them – the couple that does EVERYTHING together. They can’t be apart longer than 5 minutes, and even 5 minutes is too long. Now don’t get me wrong, I think when it comes to relationships, to each their own. However, there is something to be said for having your own identity and sense of self within your partnership. It’s not only healthy for you, but it has a positive effect on your relationship as well.
Losing Your Self
We all know a guy or girl that falls off the face of the earth after he or she begins a new relationship. Or maybe you have been guilty of this yourself. Why does this occur? For some, after a person meets ‘the one’ they feel a sense of completeness within themselves. For others, they are obsessed with the ‘honeymoon’ stage and forget all other life exists. They might forget their friends, hobbies, passions, etc. There’s loving being with your partner, and then there’s losing yourself within your partner. Sometimes this occurs when a person enters into the relationship with a low sense of self. Maybe he or she feels the need to fulfill something within the relationship, or the person feels ‘whole’ being a couple, instead of being single. However, a partner should compliment you, not complete you.
5 Ways to Stay Independent
Friends – Staying in touch and putting in effort to maintain your friendships is what will keep you an independent lady or man. Often, people find themselves calling their friends less and less, and seeing them rarely after they find ‘the one’. But getting together with the guys or the gals shouldn’t end once you find Mr. or Ms. Perfect.
Hobbies + passions – It’s great to have your OWN hobbies and passions. Keeping them alive will not only enrich you, but it can also enrich your relationship. If both you and your partner enjoy different hobbies, it is great because you both have something interesting and different to bring to the table.
‘Me’ time – Being in a relationship, it’s important to spend quality time together, but it’s also a good idea to spend quality time apart – with yourself. Do the things you love to do by yourself sometimes. Go running, take a bath, shop, or read a book.
Separate but equal – Having some things separate isn’t a bad thing. A good way to keep some independence is to have a little separateness. This is where you might want to keep your own Facebook account, cell phone, credit card, car, email, etc. And I mean a separate toilet might not be a bad call either, am I right?
Future goals – Obviously, being in a twosome you think of the future in terms of the couple’s future. But it’s also vital that you have goals for yourself that you want to accomplish – minus your other half.